What to Do If Summer Makes You Feel Shitty About Your Body

Most people I know have a love-hate relationship with summer. On the one hand, the season brings more leisure time for many of us, whether we’re on a school break or taking a big chunk of our hard-earned PTO. Plus, the abundance of activities available to fill those extra hours of sunlight—swimming, grilling, spending entire days outdoors sans several layers of clothing—make it that much easier to get out of the house.

On the less-bright side, summer is loaded with body image triggers. Clothes are more revealing (because who wants to wear pants and long sleeves when it’s 80-plus degrees out?). Social events like weddings and barbecues can make you feel like you’re on display (and probably put you in front of cameras more often than usual). And despite the growing movement toward body acceptance, there’s still plenty of cultural pressure to “slim down for summer.” (Ugh.)

While many of these triggers are unavoidable, it’s possible to navigate them in a way that allows you to enjoy the sunny season without a constant cloud of self-critical thoughts hovering over you. SELF asked four experts to share their best advice for how to deal with a bad body image day this summer.

1. Know that bad body image days—when you feel uncomfortable or distressed in your body—are inevitable, and that’s okay.

“I’d say it’s rare, if not impossible, to meet a person who feels confident and content in their body 100% of the time. Summer can be extra hard because, with more social events and less clothing, there are more opportunities for others to perceive our bodies than in other seasons. Increased self-judgment is an expected, normal reaction when we have been socialized to believe that our worth comes from what we look like or, more specifically, how others perceive our appearance. But know this: Your worth is not determined by how you look, and if you have days when you feel uncomfortable in your body or you’re more critical of your appearance, you’re not alone.” —Serena Nangia, Colorado Springs–based public speaker and owner of the Body Activists, a group that fights weight stigma, narrow body standards, and body-based oppression

2. Challenge your negative body image thoughts and try to reframe them.

“If you start to have negative feelings about your body, try some cognitive challenging (a cognitive behavioral therapy technique): Pay attention and catch yourself when you’re thinking or saying unkind things about your body and its capabilities. Reword, reframe, and rename anything that includes language of judgment, resentment, or disdain.

An example: You’re shopping for a bathing suit. You try it on, and as soon as you look in the mirror, your face wrinkles and you think, UGH, I hate how big I am, or, I wish I looked different. As you recognize yourself having those thoughts, immediately follow it up with something like, My body has done really incredible things, I am proud of the things my body has allowed me to do, or any other words that show kindness and compassion to yourself. Think of it as a quick love letter to your body. The premise of cognitive behavioral therapy is that changing what you say and think can eventually change how you feel.” —Danielle Flint, LMSW, founder of Imani ya Kupinga (which roughly translates to “faith in resistance” in Swahili), a therapy and consulting practice in Southfield, Michigan

3. Or, instead of trying to “fix” your bad body image thoughts, do what you can to feel more comfortable in the moment.

“One approach to bad body image days that I really appreciate is figuring out how to make my body feel safer and more grounded by exploring my sensory needs. For example, if I feel uncomfortable in my body, I might try putting on my favorite loose T-shirt and soft shorts or sweatpants. It may not change how I feel about the size or shape of my body, but it allows me to detach enough from the distress to focus on doing something enjoyable like watching TV or talking with friends.” —Mimi Cole, LPC-MHSP, a Nashville-based therapist and host of The Lovely Becoming Podcast

4. Find summer clothes that fit—and don’t blame yourself when something you try on doesn’t work.

“Does the thought of buying new summer clothes make you anxious? Or perhaps you feel guilty that last year’s wardrobe doesn’t fit, and you’re afraid to face the reality of your new size. Wherever you land in these scenarios, shopping for summer outfits can be daunting, especially when you feel your body needs to fit into the latest styles on the rack. It’s essential to recognize that it’s not you; it’s them! Fashion trends constantly change and historically overlook the needs (and sizes) of the average consumer.