What’s the key to being happy and healthy? ‘Better relationships,’ says Harvard researcher

What keeps people happy and healthy as they go through life? Leaning into one’s relationships and strengthening those close connections could be the secret.

People who have “better relationships” with others can help predict the health of both their bodies and their brains as they go through life, according to Harvard researchers who studied people from the time they were teenagers all the way into old age.

The scientists in the longest running study of happiness ever conducted didn’t believe these findings at first, Harvard’s Robert Waldinger told the Herald.

Instead of someone’s cholesterol or blood pressure levels at age 50 predicting how they were going to grow old, the researchers were shocked to learn that the people who stayed healthy and lived the longest were those who had the warmest relationships.

“It was the big surprise. We thought, ‘How could that be?’ so we kept testing it out in the study,” said Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been following two groups of men over the last 85 years to identify the psychosocial predictors of healthy aging.

“We continued to find that better relationships don’t only keep you happy, but that better relationships also help predict that you’re less likely to get coronary artery disease, Type 2 diabetes and arthritis, and that you’re more likely to live longer,” he added.

The key is having good quality relationships — whether it’s with family members, romantic partners, friends, colleagues, workout buddies or book club members, the researchers found.

“This is something people can actually do: You can pay more attention to your relationships,” Waldinger said.

The two groups of men in the Harvard Study of Adult Development included 268 Harvard graduates from the classes of 1939 to 1944, and 456 men who grew up in Boston neighborhoods, including Southie, Dorchester and the North End. President John F. Kennedy was part of the Harvard cohort for the study.

Of the 724 people from the first generation of the study, about 40 people remain living.

Every two years, the men completed questionnaires about their physical and mental health, marital quality, career or retirement enjoyment, and many other aspects of their lives. Every five years, health information was collected from the men to assess their physical health. Also, researchers interviewed the men to get more in-depth information about their relationships, careers, and adjustment to aging.

The researchers have learned that good quality relationships are stress relievers, and that those who are more lonely face chronic stress and have higher levels of stress hormones circulating in their bodies.

“Those who are more isolated and less connected have higher levels of inflammation throughout their body, and that gradually breaks down body systems,” Waldinger said.

Waldinger’s book on the study, co-written with the associate director of the study Marc Schulz, recently came out. The book titled, “The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness,” made the New York Times Best Seller list.