While Apple launches iPhone 14, Samsung launches, oh, this

The launch of a new iPhone can be a stifling affair.

The media just has to treat it like such an event.

Will there be one more camera? Will there be one more thing? Will there be one more dad joke? 

What goes through the collective minds of the Android world? Scoffing, certainly. An enthusiasm for pointing out where Apple might be seen as having stolen ideas from Samsung, too.

Ultimately, though, Android manufacturers mostly wait for it all to be over and worry whether it’ll affect their sales — and by how much.

Also: Apple vs Samsung: Who makes a better phone?

It was a surprise, then, that Samsung chose the week before the iPhone launch to release something no one could have foreseen.

It wasn’t a phone, a tablet or a watch. It was, well, what does one call it?

Samsung chooses to call this G-NUSMAS. It sounds suitably extraterrestrial until you realize it’s merely Samsung spelled backward.

What might this G-NUSMAS be? In Samsung’s own words it’s an “invader.” More precisely, a “whimsical invader.”

I’m not sure how keen many people are on invaders, no matter how whimsical. G-NUSMAS, however, seems to have accidentally pressed a button and ended up invading Earth. No intelligent alien would surely come here voluntarily.

Still, Samsung seems to have hired him/her/them/it. Indeed, G-NUSMAS is now a top-secret engineer at Samsung “helping the company develop innovative technologies that both inspire creativity and empower users.”

Beat that, Mr. Cook.

What? You’re going to turn up with E-LPPA to counter the power of G-NUSMAS? I’m not sure E-LPPA rolls off the tongue quite as Apple might like.

But wait, I hear you whinge. Why is Samsung suddenly launching this being?

Samsung explained that it all started as “a joke that people make whenever Samsung releases a new, unique product — that Samsung must have hired an alien being to design and develop its innovative technologies.”

Perhaps you, like me, missed that joke. Perhaps you think, like I do, that the Z Flip 4 is a gorgeous little phone, but one that surely took its inspiration from the flip phone rather than anything on the Planet Plim.

All right, it started as a joke, but what is G-NUSMAS’ role in our society? Apparently it’s to “connect with younger generations, specifically Millennial and Generation Z consumers.”

Some millennials are in their 40s. Will G-NUSMAS be able to speak to them? It depends on what’s said and how, I suppose.

For its part, Samsung would like you to prepare for more videos — beginning Sept. 2 — detailing, for example, the birth of G-NUSMAS. Does Gen Z really want to see that?

Please don’t worry too much. Once we’re through the birthing scenes, G-NUSMAS will dance sing, dance, and interact with Samsung devices.

It won’t be that different from the iPhone event, then.