Why do we crave intimacy in a relationship?

Intimacy is a driving force in a relationship. Be it physical touch or emotional understanding, two people connect better in a relationship when there is intimacy involved. However, a person’s way of showing intimacy and craving for intimacy can vary from the other person in the relationship. “It can be helpful to actually explore what sparks desire for you, what drives you to want to connect and what intimacy means for you. It can be even more helpful to explore it with your partner to better understand each of your needs especially if you feel like there could be a mismatch in libidos (which is very common),” explained Therapist Lucille Shackleton as she further noted down the reasons why we crave intimacy in the relationship.

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Connection: When the joining force between two people in a relationship is intimacy, they connect better and are able to strengthen the relationship.

Expression: For some people, the way of showing love is through intimacy. They express their emotions by being intimate with their partners.

Care: Being intimate and caring for the partner is a way of showing love and connection.

Enjoyment: Intimacy brings in fun and enjoyment in the relationship.

Stress: When times get difficult and stress comes in, intimacy can help in releasing tension and in staying connected.

However, sometimes there are road bumps in the way of intimacy:

Stress: When we are too busy dealing with the problems of daily lives, sometimes we are not able to make time for intimacy.

Too much closeness: Too much closeness can make the people in the relationship feel bored of being intimate, and this can also be a major road bump.

Routine: Sometimes, being intimate can seem mundane when it becomes a routine.

Parenting a partner: Being parented by the partner or parenting them can change the way we look at them – this further results in reduced desire.

Conflicts: Too many conflicts and the inability to address them later can create distance between two people.