Why do we maintain relationships that no longer align with us: Expert explains

Relationships often come to the point where we feel that we are compromising too much. After the firecracker phase of the relationship gets over, we often are left with the choice of staying and accepting the other person with all of their shortcomings and flaws or separating from them. Relationships take a lot of work and sometimes accepting and embracing the other person can seem very difficult. However, sometimes we stop ourselves from accepting the reality of the situation and stay back and compromise. This often leads to unhealthy, toxic relationships.

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But why do we stay back instead of separating from our partners? Sometimes, when the partners in a relationship stop aligning with themselves, they tend to struggle and stay back, why does this happen? Psychotherapist Saba Kuburic addressed this issue a few days back on her Instagram profile and pointed out a few situations which can be the reason of maintaining relationships that no longer align with us. They are as follows:

Fear: Sometimes we fear of the unknown situations that can prop up as soon as we separate from our partners. That fear makes us hold on to each other, even though the relationship stops being healthy.

Minimise: We try to see the problems in a minimised way in order to make ourselves believe that the problems do not exist or are soon to disappear.

Deserve: When we are unhappy in a relationship, we often believe that this is something we deserve and hence, we carry on.

Change: We hope for our partners to change in time and become aligned with us – this thought makes us wait and try further in the relationship.

Guilt: The thought of ending a relationship where we have invested a lot makes us feel guilty and responsible for hurting the other person. Hence, we are unable to end the relationship.

Self-trust: We lack the trust on ourselves and believe that we are in the relationship because we are better with someone than alone.