Why the Shepard avocado should be BANNED from shelves

The worst time of year is officially upon us, and no I’m not talking about the change from summer to autumn.

I’m referring to the supply chain shift from Hass to Shepard avocado in our local supermarkets.

Every year from February to April the Shepard avocado appears on our shelves.

I’m a millennial which means I’m kind of an avocado expert, so believe me when I tell you — the Shepard avocado is the foulest thing ever created.

I say created because it was the demon spawn of a Californian farmer.

We curse Stanley L Shepard who is to blame for the avocado that bears his name.

Post WWII the citrus and avocado grower from California was keen to develop a new variety.

However, the Shepard variety failed commercially, as it should because it’s disgusting.

A marriage between the Sharpe family from Queensland and the Shepard family saw the fruit introduced to Australia.

By the 1990s the accursed fruit was fully established.

Now I don’t hate the farmers responsible for growing the fruit, they have to make a living.

But I can hate on Queensland for being the only place in the world where the feral Shepard is grown.

There are many reasons I hate the Shepard, it’s firm while the Hass is buttery.

They taste like chemicals, they’re too hard, they’re an ugly green colour and the pip refuses to come out.

It’s one single good point is that it doesn’t brown when it’s cut.