Ask Amy: An aunt nervously greets her niece

Dear Readers: Like you, I’m often curious about what happens to the advice I offer once it leaves my desk, and so I’ve asked readers to send in “updates” to let all of us know how my advice was received, if it was followed, and how things turned out.

The responses have flowed in, and I’m interested and often gratified to learn what impact this experience has had on readers.

This year I celebrate my 20th year of writing this column. Publishing these updates reminds me that we have been through a lot over these past decades. Some of these updates read like postcards from old friends, and I’m happy to share them.

(It’s important to understand that most of these updates offer a positive outcome. I assume this is because when things go well, people are more willing to share their experience.)

To refresh all of our memories, I’m running the original Q&A, followed by the update.

Dear Amy: I am one of six adult siblings. We gather once or twice a year in a low-key kind of way to stay connected and catch up.

My brother “Tom,” his wife and three adult children stopped attending these events a couple of years ago. This left us perplexed.

Recently Tom’s son (my nephew) shared with the family that he was gender-transitioning to being a woman.

We reached out to my brother and our new niece, “Laura,” in our individual ways, with messages of support and acceptance. My brother followed up with an email explaining that this was the reason for the recent absences, as they took time to process it and to support Laura, who wasn’t yet ready to share her changes with the broader family.

We will soon be having another gathering and Laura may be joining us. I am at a loss as to how to greet her when she walks through the door (after giving her a big hug, of course).

I want to say something that acknowledges this important step in her journey, but I do not want to say anything that might seem insensitive or awkward.