Ask Amy: Friend feels selfish with response to grief

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Dear Amy: My childhood friend of almost 50 years recently lost a child to suicide. We usually only call one another on our birthdays, and I have not physically seen her in almost 20 years.

I have struggled most of my life with PTSD resulting from a sexual abuse trauma when I was 17.

I really did not begin healing until my current physician diagnosed me and referred me to a specialist for therapy.

Suicides always send me to a dark place because it was riding my shoulder for so many years.

My friend did not notify me personally; she posted the news to Facebook.

I saw that she was receiving a lot of support, and I could not bring myself to call her.

Months passed, and instead I wrote her a letter of apology for my lack of communication, and expressed as well as I know how the sorrow I felt for her in dealing with her terrible loss.

She has not reached out to me.

I am riddled with guilt over my reaction to her loss. I usually reach out to people who have lost loved ones in a timely manner.

She has had a rough life, but in the last 25 years she remarried and took life by the horns and has done quite well.

I, however, am just now finding peace, due to finally receiving proper treatment. I procrastinated reaching out because of my own selfish(?) fears of my own instability.

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