Ask Amy: We’ve had it with this couple’s disrespect toward us

Dear Amy: When my son married, his wife made it clear that he was too close to his mom (me) and that this must stop.

She wants no part of us except for when she needs a babysitter.

In spite of her attitude toward us, we have been very generous with them because we adore our three grandchildren and have a great relationship with them.

We’ve paid for summer camp and all the extracurricular activities for the children, along with the down payment for their house.

We are not allowed to buy the grandchildren gifts.

I know I put up with too much disrespect from both of them for many years, just to be able to see the grandchildren.

Recently our young granddaughter seemed proud about scores on tests that she took in school. When I asked my son about it he said, “It’s none of your business.”

This was the last straw.

My husband has had it and is done with them. I feel the same. But now they won’t let the children have contact with us.

 Hurting

Dear Hurting: Your son and his wife have used you for years. And now that they have the house, the extras, and probably limited need for a babysitter, they are done with you.

Of course they won’t let you see the kids! They’ve been using these kids as leverage, and they don’t seem to care about the impact of this loss on their own children.

I’m very sorry.

Dear Amy: More than 50 years ago, my sister married a guy who skipped the States after being drafted into the U.S. Army (it was during the Vietnam War).

I was also drafted and served, including going to Vietnam.

My mother was totally against my sister marrying this guy because he was on the lam.

I was asked to meet with his parents when they came to my mom’s house, with instructions from my parents to make it very clear that they were totally against this marriage, making me the bad guy in this scenario.

My sister told our mom that if I wanted to attend the wedding, the invitation was left on top of my mom’s refrigerator. I took it personally because I was married and living with my wife and son and the invitation should have been sent to our home address.

I did not attend the ceremony.