Photo Credit: Alyssa Longchamp
How far has the level of support and sisterhood come within the black female community?
In the last ten-plus years, we’ve seen that if you mess with one, you mess with all. Any time I faced a challenge, I’ve not faced it alone. A perfect example is what happened to Nicole Beharie and how our community is standing up for her since word started leaking years ago when she was still filming [for the series Sleepy Hollow]. I can only speak towards the Black creative community because it’s different, but we won’t let one woman stand against the machine.
In The Perfect Find, your character is romancing a younger man. Overall, large age-gap relationships are taboo. What do you make of this?
I think there’s a power inequity I’d feel uncomfortable with if one of our kids came home with a much older suitor. I’d have many questions, like “What’s it about a child who has not experienced much of life that is appealing?” I think it’s when it feels a little predatory, it probably is. But I’m also an older woman with a younger man. Me and my husband are nine years apart, and honestly, I didn’t take him seriously for a long time. But when I got to know him, I learned he left home at fifteen. Our lives were more similar than dissimilar because what he survived forced him to be an adult earlier. It’s on an individual basis.
The Perfect Find also begs the question, can a woman have it all? A career, a social life, a romance, and children…
Yes, absolutely! It’s just understanding that your all will lead to deficiency somewhere. There are only so many hours in the day, so some parts of your life will be out of whack. You can have it all if you manage expectations and redefine what joy, protection and safety are to you. You want to be a career woman, have a great relationship, be a parent, have a dream house, and travel? Ma’am, let’s look at the clock. It’s hard. We have expectations of our parents, our children, of literal strangers, and we set people up for failure. We don’t even reach those high expectations we set for ourselves. We’re constantly in a state of disappointment. You see the consequences when your kids might ask for quality time, and you’re like, “S***. There are only 24 hours in a day. I got to rejigger.”
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