How to be a good listener: Therapist shares tips

A relationship is a place of constant efforts and the sense of choosing each other before anything else. It is also a space which needs constant work to make it a safe place for us and our partners to grow – individually and together. Contrary to what we believe, conflicts are common in a relationship, and are healthy as well. Healthy relationships thrive through conflicts as it opens us newer perspectives and opinions about each other. It also helps us to understand our partners better in the process. However, there are also difficult times in a relationship when we need our partners to just listen to us, without being interrupted.

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It is these times when we learn the importance of the art of listening and how being a good listener can eventually help us being healthier partners for each other. Family and marriage therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw addressed this issue in her Instagram post and wrote, “The biggest key to being a good listener is to slow down. You can slow down by summarising what’s being shared and asking for more information.” She further noted down tips on how to be a good listener in a relationship.

Understanding: The goal of listening should be understanding the partner, the situation and offering better perspective sand solutions.

Attention: A good listener goes beyond the spoken words and understands the underlying emotions and feelings with which it is spokes. This helps in getting better understanding of the situation.

Interruption: Interrupting the partner when they are narrating their part of the conversation is a very unhealthy habit and should be avoided.

Withhold: It is recommended to wait for the turn to speak. In case of listening, let the other person speak and wait for your turn.

Empathy: The idea of being a good listener is to demonstrate empathy and compassion, and understand their emotions.

Validate: Often people need validation to understand if what they feel is right. Give them the validation they need.

Summarise: Before moving on from the topic, summarise the conversation to let the partner know if you heard them and understood the conversation properly.