Miss Manners: Best man is on the hook for 5-day bachelor party and two weddings


DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter’s husband, Liam, has been asked to be the best man at the fall wedding of his friend Cody. Cody and Liam have communicated, at most, three or four times via text in the last three years.

Cody has asked Liam to throw a five-day destination bachelor party. Not only that, he and his fiancee are asking the members of the wedding party to fly to Austria for their “first” wedding, stay there for six days, then travel to Italy for their “second” wedding and stay there for another six days. (No one in the wedding party has any connection to these places.) And of course they are also expected to bestow a gift on the greedy couple.

My daughter figures attending the wedding would cost them about $20,000, and that’s without the bachelor party. They would also have to take their young son with them.

Liam is afraid that if he says no, he will lose Cody as a friend, while my daughter is telling him that Cody already isn’t his friend. (I’m trying to stay out of it.)

If she is successful in convincing Liam not to participate in this fiasco, how can he back out gracefully?

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