She DOES Survive: Grammy-Winner Gloria Gaynor Battles Self-Doubt & Surgeries With Spirituality & Self-Love

“Music was my outlet for my pain.”

That was Gloria Gaynor’s reaction after her beloved mother died. Gloria was only 25 when “her bottom fell out.” But she had experienced multiple traumatizing events before this, all of which I discovered during the world premiere of Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive at the Tribeca Festival. Confession: I knew very little about Gaynor before watching this documentary. I thought she was a one-hit wonder. Boy, was I wrong. As a physician and fellow woman of color, I was awestruck by the numerous medical and psychosocial obstacles thrown in Gaynor’s path, and her ability to lift herself up and not only survive but thrive. I am thoroughly inspired by her journey and I believe you will be, too.

Director Betsy Schechter, who began filming in 2015, was no less captivated by the disco-turned-gospel vocalist. “It’s her resilience. I saw it first-hand. Gloria has a strong will to get better. She wants to help people.” The founder of Storyville Entertainment added that Gaynor’s strong faith and love of music fueled her will to live.

Early Childhood Stressors

Near the start of the film, we learn that Gaynor’s father left when her mother was pregnant with her. She had five brothers and one sister. The family did not have much money but Gaynor couldn’t tell: “We didn’t know we were poor because we were loved.” Sadly, the widespread love could not protect the future disco queen from being sexually abused at age 12 by her stepfather. Five years later, she was molested by her boyfriend’s cousin. It took decades before Gaynor was able to process the complex emotions behind these traumatizing events.

Adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs, are associated with many long-term, negative consequences including chronic health problems, unemployment, addiction, unstable relationships – some of which Gaynor faced. But she did remarkably well, and I’ll share my thoughts on why that is.

“I had deep scars,” reflected Gaynor many years later. In the meantime, she used the power of music to heal herself and the world.

“I Will Survive”: An Anthem of Empowerment

When Gaynor first read the lyrics, she knew the song would be a hit. But even she could not have predicted the far-reaching impact of “I Will Survive” around the world, to this day. In one moving scene, we see schoolchildren in Spain singing and dancing to the celebrated song while Gaynor is overwhelmed with pride and joy. Sitting in the audience, I could barely stifle back my tears.

Gaynor personifies a powerful will to survive, despite multiple challenges. She filed for divorce at age 65. At a time when most people are contemplating retirement, Gaynor pursued her lifelong dream of going to college. Six years later, she earned a degree in psychology from Walden University, at the ripe young age of 71. An inner force is clearly driving her love of learning and living – well beyond surviving.

But it is music that has the power to heal, as Gaynor has long known. Research shows that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure and pain while improving memory, mood and sleep quality. Singing specifically has been shown to improve our sense of happiness and wellbeing, muscle tension, breathing and posture. Speaking of which…

Searing Pain and Surgeries

The documentary tells the story of Gaynor’s chronic and debilitating back pain. During a 1978 performance at the Beacon Theatre, the music legend fell over a monitor on stage. The next day, she awoke paralyzed from the waist down. Hospitalized for three months including a “horrific spine surgery,” this was the start of Gaynor’s harrowing journey with unbearable back pain, weakness, fatigue and other complications. Walking even short distances was excruciating. But the musical maven persevered, choosing to travel and perform for her fans. A grueling tour schedule and increasing age and weight continued to take a toll on her weakened vertebrae – “I’ve been through a million surgeries” – prompting her to walk with a hunched posture and profound pain. Incidentally, in 1978, she sang the hit single “I Will Survive” while wearing a back brace. A year later, she won a Grammy Award, the first for disco.

While in her 70s, Gaynor’s manager Stephanie Gold reached out to a leading spine surgeon to evaluate the legendary septuagenarian. The risks were significant.

“It’s always a concern when you’re operating on patients who are over 70 years old, especially a procedure of this magnitude requiring a major revision surgery,” explained Hooman Melamed, MD, FAAOS, Director of Scoliosis at Cedars Sinai Marina Del Rey Hospital. He added that our bodies tend not to recover as well from operations when we’re older. “It’s a significant physiological, hormonal and metabolic stress to the body.”

In 2018, Gaynor underwent an 18-hour surgery spread over two days. As Dr. Melamed, Founder of The Spine Pro, described the procedure to me after the premiere, my jaw dropped. A major revision spine surgery of this nature required “breaking, loosening up and reconstructing the spine in order to restore the alignment.” Complications included infection, blood clots, spinal fluid leak, heart attack, stroke and death. Just a little scary, right?

The film showed Gold sitting in the waiting room, restless and worried about her dear friend and national treasure. “Gloria has been singing her anthem, “I Will Survive,” to fans all over the world, helping them overcome adversity,” reflected the devoted manager. “But NOW Gloria is using that song to overcome obstacles in her own life.”

Gaynor must have extracted her faith and fortitude from music to facilitate a miraculous recovery. After months of physical therapy and rehab, the New Jersey native gained a new lease on life. In the film, we see her walking with a straight posture, pain-free and happy. Her surgeon is equally positive.

“Given how bad she was before the surgery and how difficult the surgery was, I feel she has recovered remarkably well,” said a relieved Dr. Melamed. “She should enjoy a long, active and productive life.”

The Power of Therapy

Throughout the film, we see Gaynor knocked down time and time again, facing one stressor after another. To add insult to injury, when she was lying paralyzed in the hospital after her initial back injury, Gaynor’s record company ended her contract. When she wanted to transition from disco to gospel, the global icon encountered considerable rejection. “I did 19 albums. I thought I’d have more fluidity, more open doors,” she reflected with disappointment. On the relationship front, after decades of marriage to a cop-turned-manager who partied all night and used cocaine, she came to the painful realization that he didn’t love her. According to Gold, “Linwood Simon was her manager for 25 years, but Gloria had no say.” After filing for divorce, Gold revealed that her client “had no money; she was struggling.”

Any one of the many misfortunes experienced by Gaynor could have been reason enough give up, leave the industry, get angry, depressed and suicidal, and even use substances to relieve her pain and suffering, as many people do (including my patients). And justifiably so. But Gaynor chose a different path. Later in the film, we see her looking through an old journal, reading notes from her conversations with her therapist, Katherine. Through counseling, she was able to process her emotions and understand the impact of various tragedies on her life.

“I didn’t feel I deserved more.” Her father’s abandonment and childhood sexual abuse “made [her] feel unlovable.” These are universal experiences and emotions, felt by people (mostly girls and women) in all cultures. As a physician who has referred countless patients to counseling and received it myself, I applaud Gaynor and Schechter for sharing the power of therapy on the big screen. Seeking professional help for personal, emotional and behavioral issues can be transformative, if not lifesaving. Talking about therapy helps reduce the stigma surrounding it. Schechter agrees: “Through Gloria’s journey, she’s telling us it’s okay to seek help, to share your feelings, to get therapy. We all need help.”

Redemption and Self-Care

Gloria Gaynor: I Will Survive is, without question, a story of redemption, of rising up after downfall. And boy, did Gaynor have downfalls. While serving the underserved, I discovered a strong correlation between trauma, substance use disorders and mental illness. Throughout history, we’ve seen many of Gaynor’s fellow musicians succumb to fatal overdoses or suicide – Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Whitney Houston, Prince, Tom Petty, Kurt Cobain and Naomi Judd, to name a few.

So how did Gaynor escape a similar ill fate? I believe that Gaynor’s strong faith played a protective role in her recovery from surgery and dealing with the dissolution of her marriage and the pain of her mother’s death. The Grammy-winner agrees: “Jesus is my foundation, carrying me through everything I’ve ever been through. He’s never failed me.” Science supports what Gaynor and millions of people worldwide have known for millenia: spirituality can be therapeutic. A Harvard study found that spiritual practice is associated with greater longevity as well as less substance use, depression and suicide.

I also believe that Gaynor’s achievements are related to her strong support system. Her close circle is composed of people who deeply respect, love and protect her, including Grammy-winning music producer, Chris Stevens, a self-proclaimed Gloria Gaynor super-fan who had his own disco group! According to Schechter, Gaynor “surrounds herself with people who have her best interests at heart.” The producer of Paranormal State and Abandoned underscores Gaynor’s leadership: “The band is a family. Gloria is the guiding light. It starts with her.”

Ultimate credit for success, however, must go to Gaynor herself—on a disciplined, individual level. When I asked about her self-care routine, she shared the perfect regimen, from music and nutrition to faith and fitness: “I sing. I eat healthy. I take vitamins. I mean, I eat garbage now and then, but most of the time I’m eating well and taking care of myself because I recognize that this body is a gift that was given to me, and I need to take care of it.” Oh, and did I mention that the 79-year-old does CrossFit three times a week? My jaw just keeps on dropping…

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At a time when loneliness is the new epidemic and women’s health is worsening globally, Gloria Gaynor is proof that the book of life can have a second chapter…and third and fourth and more! Her life is perpetually inspiring. After years of pushback from the music community and beyond, Gaynor followed her heart and in 2019, released a new, self-funded gospel album, Testimony, which led to her 2^nd Grammy Award – four decades after receiving her first. Despite the dark times, the music superstar never lost her sense of humor. After multiple hospital visit, labs and MRIs, we see Gaynor lying in a clinical bed, apologizing to the staff for her narrow blood vessels: “Why did I have skinny veins and not skinny anything else?”

Thank you, Ms. Gaynor, for your optimism, artistry and faith in God and humankind.