PLATES filled with dumplings and glasses of lager…hiking up mountains then cycling down faster…a big boozy bash where everyone swings… these are a few of my favourite things…
And I got to indulge in them all when I took my dad Robert along for a magical four days in rural Austria.
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St Johann in Tirol is a chocolate box town that could be straight out of much-loved movie The Sound of Music.
Nestled at the foot of the Alps, two-hours south of Munich, Germany, it has snow-capped mountains, posh spas and plenty of chances for a foodie like me to stuff my Von Trapp.
Luckily, our visit coincided with Knödelfest — a three-day beer-fuelled bash celebrating all things Austrian.
It’s been going for 41 years and it’s not hard to see why punters keep flocking back.
The whole thing centres around grub, which is right up my strasse.The star of the show is undoubtedly the knödel (German for dumpling).
It’s similar to what your granny used to serve with stew or mince.
But, unlike hers, these fist-size doughballs are succulent and filled with an array of tasty ingredients, from cheese and bacon to mushrooms, pulled pork and even kebab meat. Each drizzled with a sauce or floating in broth.
There’s even dessert versions with strawberries, coconut and local apricots and plums.
More than 26,000 are served up in 33 different varieties in one day.
And they’re all washed down with giant mugs of frothy pilsner from the local brewery.
The knödel are prepared and served by restaurants, cafes and hotels, whose stalls dot the road.
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Chefs kick-off proceedings with a parade through the town centre around 11am.
Brass musicians and drummers herald their arrival before they march holding aloft wooden signs with the name of their business while diners find their spots.
We grabbed a variety of treats and sidled up to some new pals at a specially laid table which stretches an astonishing 1,950ft right down the main street.
Plates quickly piled up as music blared from eight stages positioned down the line.
The locals love it and dress for the occasion, with lads pulling on traditional leather lederhosen shorts, shirts, waistcoats and feathered hats.
The girls, not to be outdone, match in colourful native dirndl dresses.
The dumplings are moist and hearty and are perfect for soaking up all the beer — meaning plenty of the revellers stick about until the 8pm close.
And with a giant knödel and a pint for about eight quid, why wouldn’t you?
GO: ST JOHANN IN TIROL, AUSTRIA
GETTING THERE: EasyJet offers return flights starting from Edinburgh to Munich, Germany, from just £102pp return. See easyjet.com You’ll need to arrange transport from the airport. It’s around a 2.5-hour drive.
STAYING THERE: Rooms at the Sentido Alpenhotel Kaiserfels start at £58 per night B&B. See kaiserfels.at
MORE INFO: For more on the area see kitzbueheler-alpen.com
The party is bookended by musical performances on the days before and after.
Friday night featured the region’s concert band, with tuba, trumpet, accordion and violin players joined by a revolving cast of singers.
I didn’t even know how much I wanted an oompah version of Nothing Compares 2 U or Sweet Caroline.
Best of all was a turn by the country’s pop legend Markus Wolfahrt — think an Austrian Cliff Richard — who had the huge crowd chanting along and dancing on tables.
St Johann has all the charm you would want from a hillside town in Austria.
Around 9,000 people live there and it’s cobbled streets are surrounded by pretty pastel-coloured buildings.
We stayed at the luxurious Sentido Alpenhotel Kaiserfels a 20-minute walk from the centre.
These four-star digs had everything we needed and we could easily have spent our whole stay relaxing inside.
Our twin room boasted a balcony with views from the valley up nearby hills with snowy tops. It was the perfect place to chill out and give our livers a break.
A dip in the indoor pool is just what I needed before heading down to the spa. It certainly gave us the wake-up we needed.
Austrians take sauna culture seriously. They are brought up with it and every big city has sprawling complexes, while rural towns and villages often have whole centres built around natural hot water springs.
But be prepared. Austrians hit the sauna naked — men and women share changing rooms, showers and hot rooms completely in the buff. Talk about a culture shock.
Feeling recharged, it was time to hit the restaurant. It’s buffet style and serves up an incredible array of breakfasts and dinners.
Mornings feature continental fare, like cold meat, cheese, fruit and pastries, but there were also pancakes, waffles and classic sausage, bacon and eggs.
Each evening a completely different dinner menu was on offer.
We never had the same thing twice with fresh pasta, fish, chicken and pork schnitzel and fruit sauce dished up alongside ice cream, cheese cake, tarts and cakes.
After all that grub, we needed to stretch our legs. And, in beautiful St Johann, there’s no shortage of options.
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In winter, the region is a mecca for skiers, but from spring through autumn, its a lush, green paradise, with rolling fields, crystal clear lakes and clear views over the surrounding peaks.
We rented ebikes from the Intersport Patrick shop next door to our hotel, paying £330 for two for four days, with helmets and locks thrown in for free.
These take all the effort out of pedalling and are perfect for zipping about or exploring further from the hotel.
If you ever get lost, just aim for the tower of the Huber Brau brewery.
They’ve been making incredible beer in the town since 1727 and have a fantastic bar and restaurant at the top of the 30m spire.
We rolled into town and to the Harschbichl cable car station, where gondolas wind 6,500ft up the Kitzbüheler Horn alp.
They call it ‘action mountain’ and for good reason.
I dragged my dad to the very top for an unrivalled view — then we ran off the side of it.
Tandem paragliding costs €145 for adults and €129 for children and is just one of the activities on offer and thrill-seekers will love it.
Our pilots Ricky and Mateus had us soaring over pine forests and rivers before swooping in a rollercoaster of wild acrobatics then landing on our bums in a field 20 minutes after take-off.
And if that’s too scary a thought, racing down the side on the off-road trike mountain carts is just as much fun.
Hop off at the middle cable car stop for the 4km downhill scramble.
Its tricky turns and fast steep sections are a riot for kids and adults and costs €15.
Those looking for more serene activities might want to take in the Eifersbacher waterfall.
It was an hour’s walk from right outside our hotel and wound uphill past pasturing cows and through stunning woodlands until we reached the beauty spot.
It’s experiences like these which made it so hard to say so long, farewell, auf weidersehen, goodbye.
But, in the words of Austria’s most famous son, we’ll be back.
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