Top signs of a narcissist and how to deal with them

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging and living with one can be even more exhausting. People who do not give any consideration to the feelings of others, have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, need to have attention of others all the time and have lack of empathy for others can be tough to handle. Around 5% of the people around the world suffer from this personality disorder. A narcissistic partner or parent can do a lot of damage to one’s personality, but the good thing is that counselling can make all the difference. (Also read: Toxic forgiveness: What it means and why it’s unhealthy for relationships)

“Many of us often feel overwhelmed being around people having narcissistic traits like self-importance, and feeling the need of having everything in control. These can often be emotionally challenging circumstances and may severe your relationships – be it wedlock, partnership, siblings or parent-child relationship. Having narcissistic traits and an established personality disorder may seem interlinked but vary greatly in magnitude,” says Arouba Kabir, Mental Health counselor & Founder, Enso Wellness.

What is narcissistic personality disorder

A narcissistic personality disorder is one of the several types of personality disorders which is a peculiar mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, a habit of over-exaggeration of achievements, an overwhelming sense of grandiosity and a pertinent lack of empathy for others.

“Understanding that these people have an innate mechanism making them behave like this is the first step in protecting your relationship with them,” says Arouba Kabir.

Here are some ways that may come in handy if you’re trying to nurture your relationship with a narcissist:

1. Convey your feeling: Let them know you are trying to harbour your relationship and would appreciate it if they made efforts for the same too.

2. Delineate boundaries: This might upset them but it’s okay. It is equally important for you to take care of yourself too.

3. Explore the art of rephrasing: Saying the same things in different manners often gets different results. Similarly, if you use kinder words with a narcissistic person it’s less likely to offend them and there are higher chances, they will listen to you.

4. Avoid taking impulsive decisions: Stay calm, don’t rush to give a response when they try to either pick a fight with you or gaslight you. Take your time and respond in due time. This doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself but surely keeping calm when one person is angry usually dissipates the situation.

5. Consult a professional: You can choose to do it solo to help yourself find ways to cope with the person or you can do it together so you can talk about issues and work on building a better relationship together.