You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop taking free samples from the same shop?

The prosecution: Mike

Irene goes to the same place every day for free hot chocolate – it’s so embarrassing

My girlfriend Irene and I have different attitudes when it comes to customer service and free samples. I think this is down to the fact that Irene is from LA. Americans aren’t really bothered about stuff like going into the same shop every day for a free sample, whereas as a Brit, I find it supremely embarrassing.

Irene goes to one shop every day to get a free hot chocolate. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. When we’re in town, before we head home she’ll always say, “Oh shall we just pop in here and see what free samples they have?”

There’s always this feeling in my gut of “no, not again,” because she does it so often. The people who work there must recognise us. Sometimes when we go into the shop, there’s a sign saying that the free hot chocolate isn’t ready yet as the machine needs to start up.

It’s uncomfortable because we’ll have to linger and pretend to browse, as if we actually want to buy something. When in actual fact, we are simply waiting for the free hot chocolate samples to start.

Irene goes there so often that I bought her some hot chocolate from that shop for Christmas. I thought: “Well, she must really like them, so maybe I should spend some actual money here, too.” She says that my purchase more than makes up for all the freebies she’s taken, but I’m not so sure.

Fundamentally I don’t have a problem with taking freebies. If I’m in a shop and they’re giving out snacks or samples I’m happy to take one or two. The issue is if you keep going to the same place all the time, knowing that the staff probably recognise you as “that person who comes in for freebies every day”.

That really makes me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. But Irene also asks for samples of things in pubs and ice-cream shops, even when they aren’t really on offer, so I think it’s in her nature. We’ve been together for a year and a half and I’ve seen her do that several times.

The defence: Irene

I’ve bought the shop’s products as a result of going in for the samples, so what’s the problem?

My first line of defence is that this was a much bigger issue last year, and now I’ve calmed down. I went for a lot of samples in the lead-up to Christmas because I knew Mike was going to be buy me some hot chocolate mixes and teas from the store as a present.

I felt like because I’d asked specifically for them, it was OK. I’ve also bought more tea from the shop myself, so I feel like I’m a loyal customer, even if I help myself to lots of samples. I’m also careful to tell people there that I do buy the products.

Nobody has ever recognised me in there, and I haven’t recognised any of the staff. If they said something, I would stop because that would be embarrassing, but I never see anyone twice as they have a massive rotation of staff. It certainly doesn’t hurt their sales because I bring friends there and introduce them to the samples. Everyone loves the hot chocolate, and they always go and buy more. Had I never tried those samples, I would not have started buying from the shop.

One time, I remember my friend Rose, along with Mike, saying “This is embarrassing” when I went for another freebie after going a few times earlier in the week. Mike actually refused to go into the store with me. He is unfailingly polite and gets embarrassed easily, often by my Americanness. Once, in John Lewis, I asked if they could wrap a gift and everyone laughed. But I don’t always know how things work in the UK.

I’m not really a big free sample person. I don’t actively sample a lot of things, so I disagree with Mike. I only started doing it with the hot chocolate because I felt like I needed a sugar boost and a tiny bit of joy during the dark English winter. Maybe me being American explains everything.

Those free hot chocolates are very popular in our town, though. Last time I was in there, there was a queue to get a sample shot glass, so it’s not like I’m the only person doing it. And if the store didn’t want us to try these samples, they wouldn’t promote them like this, would they?

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Irene stop hitting the same shop for free hot chocolates?

I’ve worked for two companies that offered samples, and the assumption was you’d only ever convert 10% into paying customers, which would be more than enough to make it worthwhile. Plus the regulars bring their friends, so Irene is good for business.
Jonathan, 41

Mike’s embarrassment is his own problem – Irene isn’t forcing him to get her freebies. Let her make her own decisions and have fun. She’s making the most of an opportunity to have something nice in her day. Maybe Mike should join her to see what all the fuss is about.
Charlotte, 25

Chances are the business owner can afford to gift a few little hot chocolates without a purchase being made – they wouldn’t be doing it otherwise. So let Irene enjoy these little free treats.
Kristina, 34

I have sympathy with Mike and resonate with that feeling of having to be polite. I know my girlfriend would do this without hesitation, and I’d feel like Mike. However, the samples are free, it’s a great advertisement for the company and you are actually buying their products.
Euan, 27

While repeated sampling might seem against the spirit of the endeavour, at the end of the day this is a capitalist enterprise. They’re increasing footfall and advertising their product. Irene is just playing her part.
Aengus, 43

Now you be the judge

In our online poll below, tell us: is it time for Irene to stop taking free samples?

The poll closes on Thursday 13 April at 10am BST

Last week’s result

We asked whether Barry should stop vaping so much.

91% of you said yes – Barry is guilty

9% of you said no – Barry is not guilty